Two Feet in the End Zone, Player Sizes,and Other Superbowl Inequities

Each year as the annual Superbowl is held, I am reminded of all of the inequities of the game:

TV SIZE?

How can TV manufacturers be allowed to list their TV size by the longer diagonal measurement, round up, and count the plastic frame on top? Shouldn’t they be required to give actual viewing size in height and width?

3D GLASSES?

If an advertiser is going to broadcast their $3 million commercial spots in 3D, shouldn’t the cable company send every viewer at least one pair of 3D glasses by mail in advance? Our local Publix grocery store which was the distributor of the 3D glasses in our neighborhood said they were out of the glasses within minutes of receiving them, just two weeks before the game. Having no way to view these splend-ific commercials, I decided to leave the room when they aired (great time for a make-more-snacks break!) I have no idea what was even being advertised.

FOOD?

Speaking of Publix grocery stores: Why are they listed under the “FOOD” category on the blue traveler restaurant signs along I-4 in Orlando? What a disappointment for all those out-of-towners driving to and from Tampa for the game. Seriously, if a grocery store deli doesn’t have a place for diners to sit down; doesn’t serve their ready-to-eat deli food on plates with utensils; doesn’t sell ready to drink beverages; doesn’t have rest rooms, a dedicated cashier, and door directly into their eatery; how can they be classified as a restaurant? I certainly wouldn’t put them in the same category as Starbucks or Chick Filet! If the Florida State D.O.T. is going to expand the “FOOD” signs to include deli departments in grocery stores, they’re also going to have to include 7-11, who serves ready to eat hot dogs right out the front door.

CALLING ME NOW?

Friends do not call friends during the Superbowl. It’s one game a year, dear. Unless, of course, you’re expected to attend a party at their house and are calling to offer to pick up supplies and ask, “Can I pick up some beer? Chips? Salsa?”

But, seriously…

TWO FEET CATCHING, TWO FEET CARRYING

Perhaps it’s time to institute a “two feet over the goal line” rule for touchdowns, whether catching or carrying the ball into the end zone. Only five minutes into the game, Pittsburgh Steelers’ Justin Hartwig (62) meant well when he pulled fallen teammate Roethlisberger (7) over the goal line on top of Arizona Cardinal linebacker, Monty Beisel (52) in an effort to make a touchdown. However, it just didn’t seem right to get a touchdown that way. Although his knee didn’t technically appear to be down, referees reversed the touchdown after a Cardinal’s challenge.

In my opinion, players should run or walk both feet over the line for a touchdown to count. Players are already required to have two feet down in the end zone for a caught pass to count.

THE BIGGER, THE BETTER? THE SCARIER!

I believe it’s also time to institute weight and size restrictions in professional football. Coaches do their best to recruit the largest possible defensive players to increase their odds for wrestling smaller offensive players to the ground. Is this really an ideal situation? Football, after all, is a contact sport and players are frequently maimed for life. If we institute weight classes for wrestling and boxing, shouldn’t we do the same for American football? It pains me to watch such carnage. Are we no more civilized than the Romans?

The Thursday before the Superbowl, a fundraiser was held in Tampa to raise funds and awareness to help disabled retired NFL players cover costs for healthcare.  Brighthouse news reported: “Guys get knocked on their [butt] pretty regularly, and sometimes it hurts,” said former Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka. “You're going to get injured, and sometimes those injuries have long-term effects.” 

The Brighthouse article continues to report the escalating violence of football: Most of the men said that modern football has become even more “vicious” than in years past.

Is it really fair to match the Cardinal’s Michael Adams at 181 lbs. against Steeler’s Max Starks who weighs 345 lbs.? Or the Steeler’s 185 lb. Nate Washington against the Cardinal’s Brandon Keith at 343 lbs.? No wonder professional football players are sometimes killed in the line of duty.

Sometimes it seems the bigger the players, the better the team. Even the Steeler’s offensive players seemed HUGE! I was impressed with the Cardinals offensive strategy to keep their smaller players from being injured: throw, catch, drop and roll… It was a bit like watching a circus performer training camp on how to correctly fall off an elephant.

The facts back up my theory. The Pittsburgh Steelers 65 active players average 254 lbs each (ESPN Pittsburgh roster). This year’s worst team in the league, the Detroit Lions, have 73 active players who average only 242 lbs. each. (ESPN Detroit roster)

The Steelers also had 65 active players compared to the Cardinal’s 56 active players for who average 251 lbs. each. (ESPN Arizona roster)

Whatever the excuse, it’s time we took a more civilized approach to our entertainment.

Four Grueling Days with an Obama Foe

My father was in a minor car accident a couple weeks ago, so I drove down to Clearwater, FL, mostly just to drive dad around, but also just to be there in case he took a turn for the worse. Mom had come down on vacation from NC, but had to go back to work. I ended up spending only four days with “dear old dad,” eager to leave and escape the intense “I hate Obama” atmosphere in the home.

There has never been any question of who my father would support in this election. Dad has always voted for the Republican Presidential candidate, mostly citing lower taxes as his reason. However, I did not count on dad’s anger, about an eight on a scale from one to ten, against the popular black Presidential candidate, Barack Obama.

Dad hates Democrats. However, he hates blacks even more. The source of his anger, which he claims stems from attending a black school in Philadelphia as a teenager, is most likely actually bred into him by the society in which he grew up. Dad was raised in the Depression and blacks were often the scapegoat for the bad economy, blamed for taking jobs meant for whites and blamed for committing the majority of crimes.

On a typical evening: Dad watches TV from his recliner, remote control in hand. Dad mutes every single Obama commercial, and instead, uses this opportunity to vent his extreme political feelings, yelling, “He’s an idiot!”

FOX news, the Republican controlled media, is the only acceptable news show. He used to watch ABC, but dad’s not interested in hearing what they have to say. Instead, FOX displays a very filtered and one-sided view of the world, ignoring important “real” news stories, and spending valuable air time covering local Republican rallies, showing McCain’s and Palin’s shining faces smiling at the crowds.

FOX news reports that actress/singer Jennifer Hudson’s family in Chicago was murdered, so dad says this is proof that blacks are violent. FOX news reports on a scuffle in a black neighborhood in Clearwater and dad says this is proof that blacks are stupid. FOX news reports that a Biden rally is causing traffic jams. What an inconvenience!

When FOX does show coverage of Obama, dad mutes the TV and won’t turn up the sound again until something comes on he wants to see, perhaps an update on fighting in Iraq. Mom and I watch the TV in silence, unable to do anything. Dad is in control.

When FOX shows the latest polls with Obama leading, dad changes the channel.

Obama buys a half hour prime airtime on Wednesday night, so Dad watches an old rerun of Law and Order on an independent TV channel. “He lies, he just lies,” says Dad.

Dad spends much of his time on the internet, exchanging secret racist jokes with other like-minded friends and family. He has nicknamed Barack Obama, “B.O.,” for “Body Odor,” since he says blacks stink.

Despite the numerous visits by very famous candidates and politicians to the Tampa Bay/Clearwater area, dad has no interest in attending any rallies. Nader comes to speak down the street, and I’d like to go, but dad isn’t even curious.

A few weeks ago, dad said he was eating in a restaurant in Clearwater when Obama unexpectedly showed up. Dad slipped out the door, eager to escape the popular fervor for a candidate he truly hates.

Dad isn’t a McCain supporter, either. He doesn’t like the man and voted for Mitt Romney in the primary. No, dad isn’t voting “for” anyone, but instead will be voting “against” the black candidate.

I assumed that dad’s racist anger was unique to his age group, the senior crowd raised to believe that blacks are a less evolved subset of the human race and are inferior to whites. However, a friend of mine told me that he has seen the same level of anger in much younger people, too.

I found the behavior shocking and embarrassing. How can this be my own father? How can he be so angry at such a wise and wonderful leader, Barack Obama? How can my dad, such an intelligent man, a former college professor and research scientist, be so unintelligent? Doesn’t he care that his taxes will be lower under Obama? Isn’t that what he’s always preached to me as his reason for voting Republican?

I “escaped” dad’s home on Friday, leaving several days earlier than originally planned. The kitchen was cleaner, dad was walking without crutches, and the refrigerator was fully stocked full of food. I feel bad that I won’t be there to drive my dad to the voting polls. Unlike him, I truly want him to have a voice and exercise his right to vote, even though I don’t agree with his political views. However, my mental health can’t take being around him right now.